Your Invited To A Party - But Uhhhhh, You Have To Buy Something

Everyone has a thought about certain aspects of society whether it be something important like the health care crisis facing America or something small like why the hell Penne, from Penne and Teller decided to do Dancing with the Stars (I mean he's got Jason Taylor as competition for Christ sakes.....)

My thoughts are not all that insightful but, hey, they are mine so here goes!

It all started about 5 years ago when my wife told me she was going to a "Pampered Chef Party". Ok... Party sounds like fun, I thought. When are we going? Should I dress up? Or this going to be like a kegger so I'll probably be throwing up on myself by the end of the night anyway?

Oh, No! First your not invited! Well that kinda sucks but ok.....

Second, this is a get together with my friends and I'll be spending a bit.

Oh, Ok you need to buy some food or something?

Oh, No! This is a party where we are fed, given a show, and we need to buy something (sounds like a couple clubs I've been in :)

Ummmm.... Excuse me I said! So wait, your being invited to a "party" so you can buy something? I'll let you in on a little secret, there are these little places called stores out there that let you buy things. It's kind of an ingenious concept when you think about it... You go to these buildings where they have lots of different things in them. You give them this green paper we call money and amazingly, they let you take home whatever it is you are buying, assuming you have enough of this green paper! Told you it was ingenious! It's kinda based on this whole semi-free economy thing in America. Anyway, I digress......

So wait, how much are you going to spend? Well, it depends on what they have to offer me.... Could be a couple hundred bucks..... Couple Hundred Bucks????? How about this, I'll feed you a PBJ, show you things that need to be fixed in the house, and I'll let you buy stuff and fix it up? Sound like a plan? No? Oh fine then!!

Ladies, I'm here to let you in on a little secret! It's not really a "party" if your making me buy something in the end! Let's call it a sales pitch gathering!!

Here's what a party is...... People come over your house, we cook some burgers out on the grill and get a little bit tipsy with the beer we've had. We talk, watch some tv, maybe play a board game or two (Axes and Allies anyone), and then go home start another day the next morning. That, my friends, is a party!

This isn't just pampered chef by the way! Every time I turn around, someone's getting invited to another "party" where you have to buy something. Hey Tim, wanna come over my (fill in the blank) party? Do I have to buy something I say? Well no I guess not, but that's kinda the point they say? Ok, counter point, Hell No! Oh, but I'll get free stuff if you buy stuff?

Hold on! Hold on! You'll get free stuff? You're freakin' kidding me right? So the real reason your inviting me to this show is so I will buy something AND YOU'LL GET FREE STUFF? That makes it all the worse!! Your not inviting us because you want some friendly conversation. Your inviting us because we're your free meal ticket?

To all you people you host these kinds of parties, please stop!! If you want to have a party and have people over, I'm more than willing to come. We can all sit out on your deck, have some laughs, drink some beers, and just a good ole' time. I'm socialable. I like to be around other people! I like to laugh and have a good time! But I should be expected to buy something in the end.

Oh and my kids will thank you that I have enough money to put clothes on their back! Actually, my wallet just thanks you in general.